TABLE OF DISCONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
It's perhaps fitting that I write this introduction in jail-
that graduate school of survival. Here you learn how to use
toothpaste as glue, fashion a shiv out of a spoon and build
intricate communication networks. Here too, you learn the
only rehabilitation possible-hatred of oppression.
Steal This Book is, in a way, a manual of survival in the
prison that is Amerika. It preaches jailbreak. It shows
you where exactly how to place the dynamite that will destroy
the walls. The first section-SURVIVE!-lays out a potential
action program for our new Nation. The chapter headings
spell out the demands for a free society. A community where
the technology produces goods and services for whoever needs
them, come who may. It calls on the Robin Hoods of Santa
Barbara Forest to steal from the robber barons who own the
castles of capitalism. It implies that the reader already
is "ideologically set," in that he understands corporate
feudalism as the only robbery worthy of being called "crime,"
for it is committed against the people as a whole. Whether
the ways it describes to rip-off shit are legal or illegal
is irrelevant. The dictionary of law is written by the bosses
of order. Our moral dictionary says no heisting from each
other. To steal from a brother or sister is evil. To not
steal from the institutions that are the pillars of the
Pig Empire is equally immoral.
Community within our Nation, chaos in theirs; that is the
message of SURVIVE!
We cannot survive without learning to fight and that is
the lesson in the second section. FIGHT! separates revolutionaries
from outlaws. The purpose of part two is not to fuck the
system, but destroy it. The weapons are carefully chosen.
They are "home-made," in that they are designed for use
in our unique electronic jungle. Here the uptown reviewer
will find ample proof of our "violent" nature. But again,
the dictionary of law fails us. Murder in a uniform is heroic,
in a costume it is a crime. False advertisements win awards,
forgers end up in jail. Inflated prices guarantee large
profits while shoplifters are punished. Politicians conspire
to create police riots and the victims are convicted in
the courts. Students are gunned down and then indicted by
suburban grand juries as the trouble-makers. A modern, highly
mechanized army travels 9,000 miles to commit genocide against
a small nation of great vision and then accuses its people
of aggression. Slumlords allow rats to maim children and
then complain of violence in the streets. Everything is
topsy-turvy. If we internalize the language and imagery
of the pigs, we will forever be fucked. Let me illustrate
the point. Amerika was built on the slaughter of a people.
That is its history. For years we watched movie after movie
that demonstrated the white man's benevolence. Jimmy Stewart,
the epitome of fairness, puts his arm around Cochise and
tells how the Indians and the whites can live in peace if
only both sides will be reasonable, responsible and rational
(the three R's imperialists always teach the "natives").
"You will find good grazing land on the other side of the
mountain," drawls the public relations man. "Take your people
and go in peace." Cochise as well as millions of youngsters
in the balcony of learning, were being dealt off the bottom
of the deck. The Indians should have offed Jimmy Stewart
in every picture and we should have cheered ourselves hoarse.
Until we understand the nature of institutional violence
and how it manipulates values and mores to maintain the
power of the few, we will forever be imprisoned in the caves
of ignorance. When we conclude that bank robbers rather
than bankers should be the trustees of the universities,
then we begin to think clearly. When we see the Army Mathematics
Research and Development Center and the Bank of Amerika
as cesspools of violence, filling the minds of our young
with hatred, turning one against another, then we begin
to think revolutionary.
Be clever using section two; clever as a snake. Dig the
spirit of the struggle. Don't get hung up on a sacrifice
trip. Revolution is not about suicide, it is about life.
With your fingers probe the holiness of your body and see
that it was meant to live. Your body is just one in a mass
of cuddly humanity. Become an internationalist and learn
to respect all life. Make war on machines, and in particular
the sterile machines of corporate death and the robots that
guard them. The duty of a revolutionary is to make love
and that means staying alive and free. That doesn't allow
for cop-outs. Smoking dope and hanging up Che's picture
is no more a commitment than drinking milk and collecting
postage stamps. A revolution in consciousness is an empty
high without a revolution in the distribution of power.
We are not interested in the greening of Amerika except
for the grass that will cover its grave.
Section three - LIBERATE! - concerns itself with efforts
to free stuff (or at least make it cheap) in four cities.
Sort of a quick U.S. on no dollars a day. It begins to scratch
the potential for a national effort in this area. Since
we are a nation of gypsies, dope on how to move around and
dig in anywhere is always needed. Together we can expand
this section. It is far from complete, as is the entire
project. Incomplete chapters on how to identify police agents,
steal a car, run day-care centers, conduct your own trial,
organize a G.I. coffee house, start a rock and roll band
and make neat clothes, are scattered all over the floor
of the cell. The book as it now stands was completed in
the late summer of 1970. For three months manuscripts made
the rounds of every major publisher. In all, over 30 rejections
occurred before the decision to publish the book ourselves
was made, or rather made for us. Perhaps no other book in
modern times presented such a dilemma. Everyone agreed the
book would be a commercial success. But even greed had its
limits, and the IRS and FBI following the manuscript with
their little jive rap had a telling effect. Thirty "yeses"
become thirty "noes" after "thinking it over." Liberals,
who supposedly led the fight against censorship, talked
of how the book "will end free speech."
Finally the day we were bringing the proofs to the printer,
Grove consented to act as distributor. To pull a total solo
trip, including distribution, would have been neat, but
such an effort would be doomed from the start. We had tried
it before and blew it. In fact, if anyone is interested
in 4,000 1969 Yippie calendars, they've got a deal. Even
with a distributor joining the fight, the battle will only
begin when the books come off the press. There is a saying
that "Freedom of the press belongs to those who own one."
In past eras, this was probably the case, but now, high
speed methods of typesetting, offset printing and a host
of other developments have made substantial reductions in
printing costs. Literally anyone is free to print their
own works. In even the most repressive society imaginable,
you can get away with some form of private publishing. Because
Amerika allows this, does not make it the democracy Jefferson
envisioned. Repressive tolerance is a real phenomenon. To
talk of true freedom of the press, we must talk of the availability
of the channels of communication that are designed to reach
the entire population, or at least that segment of the population
that might participate in such a dialogue. Freedom of the
press belongs to those that own the distribution system.
Perhaps that has always been the case, but in a mass society
where nearly everyone is instantaneously plugged into a
variety of national communications systems, wide-spread
dissemination of the information is the crux of the matter.
To make the claim that the right to print your own book
means freedom of the press is to completely misunderstand
the nature of a mass society. It is like making the claim
that anyone with a pushcart can challenge Safeway supermarkets,
or that any child can grow up to be president.
State legislators, librarians, PTA members, FBI agents,
church-goers, and parents: a veritable legion of decency
and order already is on the march. To get the book to you
might be the biggest challenge we face. The next few months
should prove really exciting.
Obviously such a project as Steal This Book could not have
been carried out alone. Izak Haber shared the vision from
the beginning. He did months of valuable research and contributed
many of the survival techniques. Carole Ramer and Gus Reichbach
of the New York Law Commune guided the book through its
many stages. Anna Kaufman Moon did almost all the photographs.
The cartoonists who have made contributions include Ski
Williamson and Gilbert Sheldon. Tom Forcade, of the UPS,
patiently did the editing. Bert Cohen of Concert Hall did
the book's graphic design. Amber and John Wilcox set the
type. Anita Hoffman and Lynn Borman helped me rewrite a
number of sections. There are others who participated in
the testing of many of the techniques demonstrated in the
following pages and for obvious reasons have to remain anonymous.
There were perhaps over 50 brothers and sisters who played
particularly vital roles in the grand conspiracy. Some of
the many others are listed on the following page. We hope
to keep the information up to date. If you have comments,
law suits, suggestions or death threats, please send them
to: Dear Abbie P.0. Box 213, Cooper Station, New York, NY
10003. Many of the tips might not work in your area, some
might be obsolete by the time you get to try them out, and
many addresses and phone numbers might be changed. If the
reader becomes a participating researcher then we will have
achieved our purpose.
Watch for a special edition called Steal This White House,
complete with blueprints of underground passages, methods
of jamming the communications network and a detailed map
of the celebrated room where according to Tricia Nixon,
"Daddy loves to listen to Mantovanni records, turn up the
air conditioner full blast, sit by the fireplace, gaze out
the window to the Washington Monument and meditate on those
difficult problems that face all the peoples of this world."
December,
1970
Cook County
Jail
Chicago
"FREE SPEECH IS THE RIGHT TO SHOUT
'THEATER' IN A CROWDED FIRE."
- A YIPPIE PROVERB
AIDING AND ABETTING
Tim Leary, Tom, Geronimo, Pearl Paperhanger, Sonny, Pat Solomon,
Allan Katzman, Jacob Kohn, Nguyen Van Troi, Susan, Marty,
Andy, Ami, Marshall Bloom, Viva, Ben, Oanh, Robin Palmer,
Mom and Dad, Janie Fonda, Jerry, Denis, LNS, Bernadine Dohrn,
a wall in Harvard Square, Nancy, an anonymous stewardess,
Shirley Wonderful, Roz, Gumbo, Janis, Jimi, Dylan Liberation
Front, Jeannie, God Slick, John, David, Rusty, Barney, Richard,
Denny, Ron Cobb, the entire Viet Cong, Sam Shephard, Ma Bell,
Eric, David, Joe, Kim Agnew, the Partridge Family, Carol,
Alan Ginsburg, Woman's Lib, Julius Lester, Lenny Bruce, Hack,
Billy, Paul, Willy, Colleen, Sid, Johnny Appleseed, the Rat,
Craig, Che, Willie Sutton, Wanda, EVO, Jeff, Crazy Horse,
Huey, Casey, Bobby, Alice, Mao, Rip, Ed, Bob, Gay Liberation
Front, WPAX, Frank Dudock, Manny, Mungo, Lottie, Rosemary,
Marshall, Rennie, Judy, Jennifer, Mr. Martin, Keith, Madame
Binh, Mike, Eleanor, Dr. Spock, Afeni, Candice, the Tupamaros,
Berkeley Tribe, Gilbert Sheldon, Stanley Kubrick, Sam, Anna,
Skip Williamson, UPS, Andy Stapp, the Yippies, Richard Brautigan,
Jano, Carlos Marighella, the Weathermen, Julius Jennings Hoffman,
Quentin, the inmates of TIER A-l Cook County Jail, Houdini,
37, Rosa Luxemberg, the Kent 25, the Chicago 15, the New York
21, the Motor City 3, the Indianapolis 500, Jack, Joan, Malcolm
X, Mayakovsky, Dotson, R. Crumb, Daniel Clyne, Justin, The
FBI Top 10 (now 16), Unis, Dana, Jim Morrison, Brian, John,
Gus, Ruth, Nancy Unger, Pun, Jomo, Peter, Mark Rudd, Billy
Kunstler, Genie, Ken, the Law Commune, Paula, Robby, Terry,
Dianna, Angela, Ted, Phil, Jefferson Airplane, Len, Tricky
Prickers, the Berrigans, Stu, Rayanne, J.B., Jonathan Jackson,
the Armstrong Brothers, Homer, Sharon, Fred Hampton, Jean
Jacques Lebel, A. H. Maslow, Hanoi Rose, Sylvia, Fellini,
Amaru, Ann Fettamen, Artaud, Bert, Merrill, Lynne, and last
but not least to Spiro what's his name who provided the incentive.
SURVIVE!
FREE FOOD
RESTAURANTS
In a country such as Amerika, there is bound to be a hell-of-a-lot
food lying around just waiting to be ripped off. If you want
to live high off the hog without having to do the dishes,
restaurants are easy pickings. In general, many of these targets
are easier marks if you are wearing the correct uniform. You
should always have one suit or fashionable dress outfit hanging
in the closet for the proper heists. Specialized uniforms,
such as nun and priest garb, can be most helpful. Check out
your local uniform store for a wide range of clothes that
will get you in, and especially out, of all kinds of stores.
Every movement organization should have a prop and costume
department.
In every major city there are usually bars that cater to
the New Generation type riff-raff, trying to hustle their
way up the escalator of Big Business. Many of these bars
have a buffet or hors-d'oeuvres served free as a come-on
to drink more mindless booze. Take a half-empty glass from
a table and use it as a prop to ward off the anxious waitress.
Walk around sampling the free food until you've had enough.
Often, there are five or six such bars in close proximity,
so moving around can produce a delightful "street smorgasbord."
Dinner usually begins at 5:00 PM.
If you are really hungry, you can go into a self-service
cafeteria and finish the meal of someone who left a lot
on the plate. Self-service restaurants are usually good
places to cop things like mustard, ketchup, salt, sugar,
toilet paper, silverware and cups for home use. Bring an
empty school bag and load up after you've cased the joint.
Also, if you can stomach the food, you can use slugs at
the automat. Finishing leftovers can be worked in even the
fanciest of restaurants. When you are seated at a place
where the dishes still remain, chow-down real quick. Then
after the waitress hands you the menu, say you have to meet
someone outside first, and leave.
There are still some places where you can get all you can
eat for a fixed price. The best of these places are in Las
Vegas. Sew a plastic bag onto your tee-shirt or belt and
wear a loose-fitting jacket or coat to cover any noticeable
bulge. Fried chicken is the best and the easiest to pocket,
or should we say bag. Another trick is to pour your second
free cup of hot coffee into the plastic bag sewed inside
your pocket and take it with you.
At large take-out stands you can say you or your brother
just picked up an order of fifteen hamburgers or a bucket
of chicken, and got shorted. We have never seen or heard
of anybody getting turned down using this method. If you
want to get into a grand food heist from take-out stands,
you can work the following nervy bit: from a pay phone,
place an order from a large delivery restaurant. Have the
order sent to a nearby apartment house. Wait a few minutes
in the booth after you've hung up, as they sometimes call
back to confirm the order. When the delivery man goes into
the apartment house to deliver the order, you can swipe
the remaining orders that are still in his truck.
In fancy sit-down restaurants, you can order a large meal
and halfway through the main course, take a little dead
cockroach or a piece of glass out of your pocket and place
it deftly on the plate. Jump up astonished and summon the
headwaiter. "Never have I been so insulted. I could have
been poisoned" you scream slapping down the napkin. You
can refuse to pay and leave, or let the waiter talk you
into having a brand new meal on the house for this terrible
inconvenience.
In restaurants where you pay at the door just before leaving,
there are a number of free-loading tricks that can be utilized.
After you've eaten a full meal and gotten the check, go
into the restroom. When you come out go to the counter or
another section of the restaurant and order coffee and pie.
Now you have two bills. Simply pay the cheaper one when
you leave the place. This can be worked with a friend in
the following way. Sit next to each other at the counter.
He should order a big meal and you a cup of coffee. Pretend
you don't know each other. When he leaves, he takes your
check and leaves the one for the large meal on the counter.
After he has paid the cashier and left the restaurant, you
pick up the large check, and then go into the astonishment
routine, complaining that somebody took the wrong check.
You end up only paying for your coffee. Later, meet your
partner and reverse the roles in another place.
In all these methods, you should leave a good tip for the
waiter or waitress, especially with the roach-in-the-plate
gambit. You should try to avoid getting the employees in
trouble or screwing them out of a tip.
One fantastic method of not only getting free food but
getting the best available is the following technique that
can be used in metropolitan areas. Look in a large magazine
shop for gourmet digests and tourist manuals. Swipe one
or two and copy down a good name from the masthead inside
the cover. Making up a name can also work. Next invest $5.00
to print business cards with the name of the magazine and
the new "associate editor." Call or simply drop into a fancy
restaurant, show a copy of the magazine and present the
manager with your card. They will insist that the meal be
on the house.
Great places to get fantastic meals are weddings, bar-mitzvahs,
testimonials and the like. The newspaper society sections
have lists of weddings and locations. If your city has a
large Jewish population, subscribe to the newspaper that
services the Jewish community. There are extensive lists
in these papers of family occasions where tons of good food
is served. Show up at the back of the synagogue a few hours
after the affair has begun with a story of how you'd like
to bring some leftovers of "good Jewish food" back to your
fraternity or sorority. If you want to get the food served
to you out front, you naturally have to disguise yourself
to look straight. Remarks such as, "I'm Marvin's cousin,"
or learning the bride's name, "Gee, Dorothy looks marvelous"
are great. Lines like "Betty doesn't look pregnant" are
frowned upon. A man and woman team can work this free-load
much better than a single person as they can chatter back
and forth while stuffing themselves.
If you're really into a classy free meal, and you are in
a city with a large harbor, check out the passenger ship
section in the back pages of the newspaper. There you find
the schedule of departures for ocean cruises. Most trips
(these kind, anyway) begin with a fantastic bon voyage party
on board ship. Just walk on a few hours before departure
time and start swinging. Champagne, caviar, lobster, shrimp
and more, all as free as the open seas. If you get really
bombed and miss getting off, you can also wiggle a ride
across the ocean. You get sent back as soon as you hit the
other side, but it's a free ocean cruise. You should have
a pretty good story ready to go, or you might end up rowing
in the galley.
Another possibility for getting a free meal is to go down
to the docks and get friendly with a sailor. He can often
invite you for dinner on board ship. Foreign sailors are
more than glad to meet friends and you can get great foreign
dinners this way.
FOOD PROGRAMS
In Amerika, there is a national food stamp program that unfortunately
is controlled by the states. Many states, for racist reasons,
do not want to make it too available or to publicize the fact
that it even exists. It is a much better deal than the food
program connected with welfare, because you can use the stamps
to buy any kind of food. The only items excluded are tobacco
products and alcoholic beverages. In general, you can qualify
if you earn less than $165 per month; the less you earn, the
more stamps you can receive. There is minimal hassle involved
once you get by the first hurdle. Show up at your local food
stamp office, which can be found by calling the Welfare Department
in our city. Make an appointment to see a representative for
your area. They will tell you to bring all sorts of receipts,
but the only thing you need are a few rent stubs for the most
recent months. An array of various receipt books is a nice
supplement to one's prop room. If the receipts are for a high
rent, tell them you rent a room from a group of people and
eat separately. They really only want to prove that you have
cooking facilities. Once you get the stamps, you can pick
them up regularly. Some states even mail them to your pad.
You can get up to a hundred dollars worth of free purchases
a month per person in the most liberal states.
Large amounts of highly nutritional food can be gotten
for as little as three cents per meal from a non-profit
organization called Multi-Purpose Food for Millions Foundation,
Inc., 1800 Olympic Ave., Santa Monica, California. Write
and they will send you details.
SUPERMARKETS
Talking about food in Amerika means talking about supermarkets-mammoth
neon lighted streets of food packaged to hoodwink the consumers.
Many a Yippie can be found in the aisles, stuffing his pockets
with assorted delicacies. We have been shoplifting from supermarkets
on a regular basis without raising the slightest suspicion,
ever since they began.
We are not alone, and the fact that so much stealing goes
on and the supermarkets still bring in huge profits shows
exactly how much overcharging has occurred in the first
place. Supermarkets, like other businesses, refer to shoplifting
as "inventory shrinkage." It's as if we thieves were helping
Big Business reduce weight. So let's view our efforts as
methods designed to trim the economy and push forward with
a positive attitude.
Women should never go shopping without a large handbag.
In those crowded aisles, especially the ones with piles
of cases, all sorts of goodies can be transferred from shopping
cart to handbag. A drop bag can be sewn inside a trench
coat, for more efficient thievery. Don't worry about the
mirrors; attendants never look at them. Become a discriminating
shopper and don't stuff any of the cheap shit in your pockets.
Small bottles and jars often have the same size cap as
the larger expensive sizes. If they have the price stamped
on the cap, switch caps, getting the larger size for the
cheaper price. You can empty a pound box of margarine and
fill it with sticks of butter. Small narrow items can be
hidden in the middle of rolls of toilet paper. Larger supermarkets
sell records. You can sneak two good LP's into one of those
large frozen pizza boxes. In the produce department, there
are bags for fruit and vegetables. Slip a few steaks or
some lamb chops into the bottom of a large brown bag and
pile some potatoes on top. Have a little man in the white
coat weigh the bag, staple it and mark the price. With a
black crayon you can mark your own prices, or bring your
own adhesive price tags.
It's best to work shoplifting in the supermarket with a
partner who can act as look-out and shield you from the
eyes of nosy employees, shoppers and other crooks trying
to pick up some pointers. Work out a prearranged set of
signals with your partner. Diversions, like knocking over
displays, getting into fist fights with the manager, breaking
plate glass windows and such are effective and even if you
don't get anything they're fun. Haven't you always wanted
to knock over those carefully constructed nine-foot pyramids
of garbage?
You can walk into a supermarket, get a few items from the
shelves, and walk around eating food in the aisles. Pick
up some cherries and eat them. Have a spoon in your pocket
and open some yogurt. Open a pickle or olive jar. Get some
sliced meat or cheese from the delicatessen counter and
eat it up, making sure to ditch the wrapper. The cart full
of items, used as a decoy, can just be left in an aisle
before you leave the store.
Case the joint before pulling a big rip-off. Know the least
crowded hours, learn the best aisles to be busy in, and
check out the store's security system. Once you get into
shoplifting in supermarkets, you'll really dig it. You'll
be surprised to learn that the food tastes better.
Large scale thievery can best be carried out with the help
of an employee. Two ways we know of work best. A woman can
get a job as a cashier and ring up a small bill as her brothers
and sisters bring home tons of stuff.
The method for men involves getting a job loading and unloading
trucks in the receiving department. Some accomplices dressed
right can just pull in and, with your help, load up on a
few cases. Infiltrating an employee into a store is probably
the best way to steal. Cashiers, sales clerks, shippers,
and the like are readily available jobs with such high turnover
and low pay that little checking on your background goes
on. Also, you can learn what you have to do in a few days.
The rest of the week, you can work out ways to clean out
the store. After a month or so of action you might want
to move on to another store before things get heavy. We
know one woman working as a cashier who swiped over $500
worth of food a week. She had to leave after a month because
her boss thought she was such an efficient cashier that
he insisted on promoting her to a job that didn't have as
many fringe benefits for her and her friends.
Large chain stores like Safeway throw away day-old vegetables,
the outer leaves of lettuce, celery and the like. This stuff
is usually found in crates outside the back of the building.
Tell them you're working with animals at the college labs,
or that you raise guinea pigs. They might even get into
saving them for you, but if they don't just show up before
the garbage is collected, (generally early in the morning),
and they'll let you cart away what you want.
Dented cans and fruit can often be gotten free, but certainly
at a reduced rate. They are still as good as the undamaged
ones. So be sure to dent all your cans before you go to
the cashier.
Look up catering services and businesses that service factories
and office buildings with ready-made sandwiches. Showing
up at these places at the right times (catering services
on late Sunday night and sandwich dealers at 5:00 PM on
weekdays) will produce loads of good food. Legally, they
have to dispose of the food that's left over. They would
be more than happy to give it to you if you spin a good
story.
Butchers can be hustled for meat scraps with meat scraps
with a "for my dog" story, and bakeries can be asked for
day-old rolls and bread.
WHOLESALE MARKETS
Large cities all have a wholesale fruit and vegetable area
where often the workers will give you tons of free food just
for the asking. Get a good story together. Get some church
stationery and type a letter introducing yourself "to whom
it may concern," or better still, wear some clerical garb.
Orchards also make good pickings just after the harvest has
been completed.
Factories often will give you a case or two of free merchandise
for a "charitable" reason. Make some calls around town and
then go pick up the stuff at the end of the week. A great
idea is to get a good list of a few hundred large corporations
around the country by looking up their addresses at the
library. Poor's Register of Companies, Directors and Executives
has the most complete list. Send them all letters complaining
about how the last box of cereal was only half full, or
you found a dead fly in the can of peaches. They often will
send you an ample supply of items just to keep you from
complaining to your friends or worse, taking them to court.
Often you can get stuff sent to you by just telling them
how good their product is compared to the trash you see
nowadays. You know the type of letter - "Rice Krispies have
had a fantastic effect on my sexual prowess," or "Your frozen
asparagus has given a whole new meaning to my life." In
general though, the nasties get the best results.
Slaughterhouses usually have meat they will give away.
They are anxious to give to church children's programs and
things like that. In most states, there is a law that if
the slab of meat touches the ground, they have to throw
it away. Drop around meat houses late in the day and trip
a few trucks.
Fishermen always have hundreds of pounds of fish that have
to be thrown out. You can have as much as you can cart away,
generally just for the asking. Boats come in late in the
afternoon and they'll give you some of the catch, or you
can go to the markets early in the morning when the fishing
is best.
These methods of getting food in large quantities can only
be appreciated by those who have tried it. You will be totally
baffled by the unbelievable quantities of food that will
be laid on you and with the ease of panhandling.
Investing in a freezer will allow you to bi-weekly or even
monthly trips to the wholesale markets and you'll get the
freshest foods to boot. Nothing can beat getting it wholesale
for free. Or is it free for wholesale? In any event, "bon
appetit."
FOOD CONSPIRACIES
Forming a food cooperative is one of the best ways to promote
solidarity and get every kind of food you need to survive
real cheap. It also provides a ready-made bridge for developing
alliances with blacks, Puerto Ricans, chicanos and other groups
fighting our common oppressor on a community level.
Call a meeting of about 20 communes, collectives or community
organizations. Set up the ground rules. There should be
a hard-core of really good hustlers that serve as the shopping
or hunting party and another group of people who have their
heads together enough to keep records and run the central
distribution center. Two or three in each group should do
it. They can get their food free for the effort. Another
method is to rotate the activity among all members of the
conspiracy. The method you choose depends upon your politics
and whether you favor a division of labor or using the food
conspiracy as a training for collective living. Probably
a blend of the two is best, but you'll have to hassle that
out for yourself. The next thing to agree upon is how the
operation and all the shit you get will be paid for. This
is dependent on a number of variables, so we'll map out
one scheme and you can modify it to suit your particular
situation. Each member of every commune could be assessed
a fee for joining. You want to get together about $2,000,
so at 200 members, this is ten bucks a piece. After the
joining fee, each person or group has to pay only for the
low budget food they order, but some loot is needed to get
things rolling. The money goes to getting a store front
or garage, a cheap truck, some scales, freezers, bags, shelving,
chopping blocks, slicer and whatever else you need. You
can get great deals by looking in the classified ads of
the local overground newspaper and checking for restaurants
or markets going out of business. Remember the idea of a
conspiracy is to get tons of stuff at real low prices or
free into a store front, and then break it down into smaller
units for each group and eventually each member. The freezers
allow you to store perishables for a longer time.
The hunting party should be well acquainted with how to
rip off shit totally free and where all the best deals are
to be found. They should know what food is seasonal and
about nutritional diets. There is a lot to learn, such as
where to get raw grains in 100 pounds lots and how to cut
up a side of beef. A good idea is to get a diet freak to
give weekly talks in the store front. There can also be
cooking lessons taught, especially to men, so women can
get out of the kitchen.
Organizing a community around a basic issue of survival,
such as food, makes a lot of nitty gritty sense. After your
conspiracy gets off the ground and looks permanent, you
should seek to expand it to include more members and an
emergency food fund should be set up in case something happens
in the community. There should also be a fund whereby the
conspiracy can sponsor free community dinners tied into
celebrations. Get it together and join the fight for a world-wide
food conspiracy. Seize the steak!
CHEAP CHOW
There are hundreds of good paperback cook books with nutritional
cheap recipes available in any bookstore. Cooking is a vastly
overrated skill. The following are a few all-purpose dishes
that are easy to make, nutritional and cheap as mud pies.
You can add or subtract many of the ingredients for variety.
Hog Farm Granola Breakfast (Road Hog Crispies)
½ c millet 2 c raw oats
½ c cracked wheat 1 c rye flakes
½ c buckwheat groats 1 c wheat flakes
½ c wheat germ 1 c dried fruits and/or nuts
½ c sunflower seeds 3 tbs soy oil
¼ c sesame seeds 1 c honey
2 tbs cornmeal
Boil the millet in a double boiler for 1/2 hour. Mix in a
large bowl all the ingredients including the millet. The soy
oil and honey should be heated in a saucepan over a low flame
until bubbles form. Spread the cereal in a baking pan and
cover with the honey syrup. Toast in oven until brown. Stir
once or twice so that all the cereal will be toasted. Serve
plain or with milk. Refrigerate portion not used in a covered
container. Enough for ten to twenty people. Make lots and
store for later meals. All these ingredients can be purchased
at any health store in a variety of quantities. You can also
get natural sugar if you need a sweetener. If bought and made
in quantity, this fantastically healthy breakfast food will
be cheaper than the brand name cellophane that passes for
cereal.
Whole Earth Bread
1 c oats, corn meal, or wheat germ 2 tsp salt
1½ c water (warm) 2 egg yolks
¼ c sugar (raw is best) 4 c flour
1 pkg active dry yeast _ c corn oil
1 c dry milk or butter
Stir lightly in a large bowl the oats, cornmeal or wheat germ
(depending on the flavor bread you desire), the water and
sugar. Sprinkle in the yeast and wait 10 minutes for the yeast
to do its thing. Add salt, egg yolks, corn oil and dry milk.
Mix with a fork. Blend in the flour. The dough should be dry
and a little lumpy. Cover with a towel and leave in a warm
place for a half hour. Now mash, punch, blend and kick the
dough and return it covered to its warm place. The dough will
double in size. When this happens, separate the dough into
two even masses and mash each one into a greased bread (loaf)
pan. Cover the pans and let sit until the dough rises to the
top of the pans. Bake for 40-45 minutes in a 350 degree oven
that has not been pre-heated. A shallow tray of water in the
bottom of the oven will keep the bread nice and moist. When
you remove the pans from the oven, turn out the bread into
a rack and let it cool off. Once you get the hang of it, you'll
never touch ready-made bread, and it's a gas seeing yeast
work.
Street Salad
Salad can be made by chopping up almost any variety of
vegetables, nuts and fruits including the stuff you panhandled
at the back of supermarkets; dandelions, shav, and other
wild vegetables; and goods you ripped off inside stores
or from large farms. A neat fresh dressing consists of one
part of oil, two parts wine vinegar, finely chopped garlic
cloves, salt and pepper. Mix up the ingredients in a bottle
and add to the salad as you serve it. Russian dressing is
simply mayonnaise and ketchup mixed.
Yippie Yogurt
Yogurt is one of the most nutritional foods in the world.
The stuff you buy in stores has preservatives added to it
reducing its health properties and increasing the cost.
Yogurt is a bacteria that spreads throughout a suitable
culture at the correct temperature. Begin by going to a
Turkish or Syrian restaurant and buying some yogurt to go.
Some restaurants boast of yogurt that goes back over a hundred
years. Put it in the refrigerator.
Now prepare the culture in which the yogurt will multiply.
The consistency you want will determine what you use. A
milk culture will produce thin yogurt, while sweet cream
will make a thicker batch. It's the butter fat content that
determines the consistency and also the number of calories.
Half milk and half cream combines the best of both worlds.
Heat a quart of half and half on a low flame until just
before the boiling point and remove from the stove. This
knocks out other bacteria that will compete with the yogurt.
Now take a tablespoon of the yogurt you got from the restaurant
and place it in the bottom of a bowl (not metal). Now add
the warm liquid. Cover the bowl with a lid and wrap tightly
with a heavy towel. Place the bowl in a warm spot such as
on top of a radiator or in a sunny window. A turned-off
oven with a tray of boiling water placed in it will do well.
Just let the bowl sit for about 8 hours (overnight). The
yogurt simply grows until the whole bowl is yogurt. Yippie!
It will keep in the refrigerator for about two weeks before
turning sour, but even then, the bacteria will produce a
fresh batch of top quality. Remember when eating it to leave
a little to start the next batch. For a neat treat add some
honey and cinnamon and mix into the yogurt before serving.
Chopped fruit and nuts are also good.
Rice and Cong Sauce
1 c brown rice vegetables
2 c water 2½ tbs soy sauce
tsp salt
Bring the water to a boil in a pot and add the salt and rice.
Cover and reduce flame. Cooking time is about 40 minutes or
until rice has absorbed all the water. Meanwhile, in a well-greased
frying pan, saute a variety of chopped vegetables you enjoy.
When they become soft and brownish, add salt and 2 cups of
water. Cover with a lid and lower flame. Simmer for about
40 minutes, peeking to stir every once in a while. Then add
2 1/2 tbs of soy sauce, stir and cook another 10 minutes.
The rice should be just cooling off now, so add the sauce
to the top of it and serve. Great for those long guerrilla
hikes. This literally makes up almost the entire diet of the
National Liberation Front fighter.
Weatherbeans
1 lb red kidney beans 2 tbs parsley (chopped)
2 quarts water ½ lb pork, smoked sausage
1 onion (chopped) or ham hock
1 tbs celery (chopped) 1 lg bay leaf
1 tsp garlic (minced) salt to season
Rinse the beans, then place in covered pot and add water and
salt. Cook over low flame. While cooking, chop up meat and
brown in a frying pan. Add onion, celery, garlic and parsley
and continue sauteing over low flame. Add the pieces of meat,
vegetables and bay leaf to the beans and cook covered for
1 1/2 to 2 hours. It may be necessary to add more water if
the beans get too dry. Fifteen minutes before beans are done,
mash about a half cup of the stuff against the side of the
pan to thicken the liquid. Pour the beans and liquid over
some steaming rice that you've made by following the directions
above. This should provide a cheap nutritional meal for about
6 people.
Hedonist's Deluxe
2 lobsters 2 qts water
seaweed ¼ lb butter
Steal two lobsters, watching out for the claw thingies. Beg
some seaweed from any fish market. Cop the butter using the
switcheroo method described in the Supermarket section above.
When you get home, boil the water in a large covered pot and
drop in the seaweed and then the lobsters. Put the cover back
on and cook for about 20 minutes. Melt the butter in a sauce
pan and dip the lobster pieces in it as you eat. With a booster
box, described later you'll be able to rip off a bottle of
vintage Pouilly-Fuisse in a fancy liquor store. Really, rice
is nice but...
FREE CLOTHING & FURNITURE
FREE CLOTHING
If shoplifting food seems easy, it's nothing compared to the
snatching of clothing. Shop only the better stores. Try thing
on in those neat secluded stalls. The less bulky items such
as shirts, vests, belts and socks can be tied around your
waist or leg with large rubber bands if needed. Just take
a number of items in and come out with a few less.
In some cities there are still free stores left over from
the flower power days. Churches often have give-away clothing
programs. You can impersonate a clergyman and call one of
the large clothing manufacturers in your area. They are
usually willing to donate a case or two of shirts, trousers
or underwear to your church raffle or drive to dress up
skid row. Be sure to get your sizes. Tell them "your boy"
will pick up the blessed donation and you'll mention his
company in the evening prayers.
If you notice people moving from an apartment or house,
ask them if they'll be leaving behind clothing. They usually
abandon all sorts of items including food, furniture and
books. Offer to help them carry out stuff if you can keep
what they won't be taking.
Make the rounds of a fancy neighborhood with a truck and
some friends. Ring doorbells and tell the person who answers
that you are collecting wearable clothing for the "poor
homeless victims of the recent tidal wave in Quianto a small
village in Saudi Arabia." You get the pitch. Make it food
and clothing, and say you're with a group called Heartline
for Decency. A phony letter from a church might help here.
The Salvation Army does this, and you can pick up clothes
from them at very cheap prices. You can get a pair of snappy
casual shoes for 25 cents in many bowling alleys by walking
out with them on your feet. If you have to leave your shoes
as a deposit, leave the most beat-up pair you can find.
Notice if your friends have lost or gained weight. A big
change means a lot of clothes doing nothing but taking up
closet space. Show up at dormitories when college is over
for the summer or winter season. Go to the train or bus
stations and tell them you left your raincoat, gloves or
umbrella when you came into town. They'll take you to a
room with thousands of unclaimed items. Pick out what you
like. While there, notice a neat suitcase or trunk and memorize
the markings. Later a friend can claim the item. There will
be loads of surprises in any suitcase. We have a close friend
who inherited ten kilos of grass this way.
Large laundry and dry cleaning chains usually have thousands
of items that have gone unclaimed. Manufacturers also have
shirts, dresses and suits for rockbottom prices because
of a crooked seam or other fuck-up. Stores have reduced
rates on display models: Mannequins are mostly all size
40 for men and 10 for women. Size 7 1/2 is the standard
display size for men's shoes. If you are these sizes, you
can get top styles for less than half price.
SANDALS
The Vietnamese and people throughout the Third World make
a fantastically durable and comfortable pair of sandals out
of rubber tires. They cut out a section of the outer tire
(trace around the outside of the foot with a piece of chalk)
which when trimmed forms the sole. Next 6 slits re made in
the sole so the rubber straps can be criss-crossed and slid
through the slits. The straps are made out of inner tubing.
No nails are needed. If you have wide feet, use the new wide
tread low profiles. For hard going, try radials. For best
satisfaction and quality, steal the tires off a pig car or
a government limousine.
Let's face it, if you really are into beating the clothing
problem, move to a warm climate and run around naked. Skin
is absolutely free, and will always be in style. Speaking
of style, the midi and the maxi have obvious advantages
when it comes to shoplifting and transporting weapons or
bombs.
FREE FURNITURE
Apartment lobbies are good for all kinds of neat furniture.
If you want to get fancy about it, rent a truck (not one that
says U-HAUL-IT or other rental markings) and make the pick-up
with moving-man-type uniforms. When schools are on strike
and students hold seminars and debate into the night, Yippies
can be found going through the dorm lobbies and storage closets
hauling off couches, desks, printing supplies, typewriters,
mimeos, etc. to store in secret underground nests. A nervy
group of Yippies in the Midwest tried to swipe a giant IBM
360 computer while a school was in turmoil. All power to those
that bring a wheelbarrow to sit-ins.
Check into a high-class hotel or motel remembering to dress
like the wallpaper. Carry a large dummy suitcase with you
and register under a phony name. Make sure you and not the
bellboy carry this bag. Use others as a decoy. When you
get inside the room, grab everything you can stuff in the
suitcase: radio, T.V. sets (even if it has a special plug
you can cut it with a knife and replace the cord), blankets,
toilet paper, glasses, towels, sheets, lamps, (forget the
imitation Winslow Homer on the wall) a Bible, soap and toss
rugs. Before you leave (odd hours are best) hang the DO
NOT DISTURB sign on your doorknob. This will give you an
extra few hours to beat it across the border or check into
a new hotel.
Landlords renovating buildings throw out stoves, tables,
lamps, refrigerators and carpeting. In most cities, each
area has a day designated for discarding bulk objects. Call
the Sanitation Department and say you live in that part
of town which would be putting out the most expensive shit
and find out the pick-up day. Fantastic buys can be found
cruising the streets late at night. Check out the backs
of large department stores for floor models, window displays
and slightly damaged furniture being discarded.
Construction sites are a good source for building materials
to construct furniture. (Not to mention explosives.) The
large wooden cable spools make great tables. Cinderblocks,
bricks and boards can quickly be turned into a sharp looking
bookcase. Doors make tables. Nail kegs convert into stools
or chairs. You can also always find a number of other supplies
hanging around like wiring, pipes, lighting fixtures and
hard hats. And don't forget those blinking signs and the
red lanterns for your own light show. Those black oil-fed
burners are O.K. for cooking, although smoky, and highway
flares are swell for making fake dynamite bombs.
FREE TRANSPORTATION
HITCH-HIKING
Certainly one of the neatest ways of getting where you want
to go for nothing is to hitch. In the city it's a real snap.
Just position yourself at a busy intersection and ask the
drivers for a lift when they stop for the red light. If you're
hitching on a road where the traffic zooms by pretty fast,
be sure to stand where the car will have room to safely pull
off the road. Traveling long distances, even cross-country,
can be easy if you have some sense of what you are doing.
A lone hitch-hiker will do much better than two or more.
A man and woman will do very well together. Single women
are certain to get propositioned and possibly worse. Amerikan
males have endless sexual fantasies about picking up a poor
lonesome damsel in distress. Unless your karate and head
are in top form, women should avoid hitching alone. Telling
men you have V.D. might help in difficult situations.
New England and the entire West Coast are the best sections
for easy hitches. The South and Midwest can sometimes be
a real hassle. Easy Rider and all that. The best season
to hitch is in the summer. Daytime is much better than night.
If you have to hitch at night, get under some type of illumination
where you'll be seen.
Hitch-hiking is legal in most states, but remember you
always can get a "say-so" bust. A "say-so" arrest is to
police what Catch-22 is to the Army. When you ask why you're
under arrest, the pig answers, "cause I say-so." If you
stand on the shoulder of the road, the pigs won't give you
too bad a time. If you've got long hair, cops will often
stop to play games. You can wear a hat with your hair tucked
under to avoid hassles. However this might hurt your ability
to get rides, since many straights will pick up hippies
out of curiosity who would not pick up a straight scruffy
looking kid. Freak drivers usually only pick up other freaks.
Once in a while you hear stories of fines levied or even
a few arrests for hitching (Flagstaff, Arizona is notorious),
but even in the states where it is illegal, the law is rarely
enforced. If you're stopped by the pigs, play dumb and they'll
just tell you to move along. You can wait until they leave
and then let your thumb hang out again.
Hitchin on super highways is really far out. It's illegal
but you won't get hassled if you hitch at the entrances.
On a fucked-up exit, take your chances hitching right on
the road, but keep a sharp eye out for porkers. When you
get a ride be discriminating. Find out where the driver
is headed. If you are at a good spot, don't take a ride
under a hundred miles that won't end up in a location just
as good. When the driver is headed to an out-of-the-way
place, ask him to let you off where you can get the best
rides. If he's going to a particularly small town, ask him
to drive you to the other side of thy town line. It's usually
only a mile or two. Small towns often enforce all sorts
of "say-so" ordinances. If you get stuck on the wrong side
of town, it would be wise to even hoof it through the place.
Getting to a point on the road where the cars are inter-city
rather than local traffic is always preferable.
When you hit the road you should have a good idea of how
to get where you are going. You can pick up a free map at
any gas station. Long distance routes, road conditions,
weather and all sorts of information can be gotten free
by calling the American Automobile Association in any city.
Say that you are a member driving to Phoenix, Arizona or
wherever your destination is, and find out what you want
to know. Always carry a sign indicating where you are going.
If you get stranded on the road without one, ask in a diner
or gas station for a piece of cardboard and a magic marker.
Make the letters bold and fill them in so they can be seen
by drivers from a distance. If your destination is a small
town, the sign should indicate the state. For really long
distances, EAST or WEST is best. Unless, of course, you're
going north or south. A phony foreign flag sewed on your
pack also helps.
Carrying dope is not advisable, and although searching
you is illegal, few pigs can read the Constitution. If you
are carrying when the patrol car pulls up, tell them you
are Kanadian and hitching through Amerika. Highway patrols
are very uptight about promoting incidents with foreigners.
The foreign bit goes over especially well with small-town
types, and is also amazingly good for avoiding hassles with
greasers. If you can't hack this one, tell them you are
a reporter for a newspaper writing a feature story on hitching
around the country. This story has averted many a bust.
Don't be shy when you hitch. Go into diners and gas stations
and ask people if they're heading East or to Texas. Sometimes
gas station attendants will help. When in the car be friendly
as hell. Offer to share the driving if you've got a license.
If you're broke, you can usually bum a meal or a few bucks,
maybe even a free night's lodging. Never be intimidated
into giving money for a ride.
As for what to carry when hitching, the advice is to travel
light. The rule is to make up a pack of the absolute minimum,
then cut that in half. Hitching is an art form as is all
survival. Master it and you'll travel on a free trip forever.
FREIGHTING
There is a way to hitch long distances that has certain advantages
over letting your thumb hang out for hours on some two-laner.
Learn about riding the trains and you'll always have that
alternative. Hitchhiking at night can be impossible, but hopping
a is easier at night than by day. By hitchhiking days and
hopping freights and sleeping on them at night, you can cover
incredible distances rapidly and stay well rested. Every city
and most large towns have a freight yard. You can find it
by following the tracks or asking where the freight yard is
located.
When you get to the yard, ask the workmen when the next
train leaving in your direction will be pulling out. Unlike
the phony Hollywood image, railroad men are nice to folks
who drop by to grab a ride. Most yards don't have a guard
or a "bull" as they are called. Even if they do, he is generally
not around. If there is a bull around, the most he's going
to do is tell you it's private property and ask you to leave.
There are exceptions to this rule, such as the notorious
Lincoln, Nebraska, and Las Vegas, Nevada, but by asking
you can find out. Even if he asks you to leave or throws
you out, sneak back when your train is pulling out and jump
aboard.
After you've located the right train for your trip, hunt
for an empty boxcar to ride. The men in the yards will generally
point one out if you ask. Pig-sties, flat cars and coal
cars are definitely third class due to exposure to the elements.
Boxcars are by far the best. They are clean and the roof
over your head helps in bad weather and cuts down the wind.
Boxcars with a hydro-cushion suspension system used for
carrying fragile cargo make for the smoothest ride. Unless
you get one, you should be prepared for a pretty bumpy and
noisy voyage.
You should avoid cars with only one door open, because
the pin may break, locking you in. A car with both doors
open gives you one free chance. Pig-backs (trailers on flatcars)
are generally considered unsafe. Most trains make a number
of short hops, so if time is an important factor try to
get on a "hot shot" express. A hot shot travels faster and
has priority over other trains in crowded yards. You should
favor a hot shot even if you have to wait an extra hour
or two or more to get one going your way.
If you're traveling at night, be sure to dress warmly.
You can freeze your ass off. Trains might not offer the
most comfortable ride, but they go through beautiful countryside
that you'd never see from the highway or airway. There are
no billboards, road signs, cops, Jack-in-the-Boxes, gas
stations or other artifacts of honky culture. You'll get
dirty on the trains so wear old clothes. Don't pass up this
great way to travel cause some bullshit western scared you
out of it.
CARS
If you know how to drive and want to travel long distances,
the auto transportation agencies are a good deal. Look in
the Yellow Pages under Automobile Transportation and Trucking
or Driveway. Rules vary, but normally you must be over 21
and have a valid license. Call up and tell them when and where
you want to go and they will let you know if they have a car
available. They give you the car and a tank of gas free. You
pay the rest. Go to pick up the car alone, then get some people
to ride along and help with the driving and expenses. You
can make New York to San Francisco for about eighty dollars
in tolls and gas in four days without pushing. Usually you
have the car for longer and can make a whole thing out of
it. You must look straight when you go to the agency. This
can be simply be done by wetting down your hair and shoving
it under a cap.
Another good way to travel cheaply is to find somebody
who has a car and is going your way. Usually underground
newspapers list people who either want rides or riders.
Another excellent place to find information is your local
campus. Every campus has a bulletin board for rides. Head
shops and other community-minded stores have notices up
on the wall.
Gas
If you have a car and need some gas late at night you can
get a quart and then some by emptying the hoses from the
pumps into your tank. There is always a fair amount of surplus
gas left when the pumps are shut off.
If your traveling in a car and don't have enough money
for gas and tolls, stop at the bus station and see if anybody
wants a lift. If you find someone, explain your money situation
and make a deal with him. Hitch-hikers also can be asked
to chip in on the gas.
You can carry a piece of tubing in the trunk of your car
and when the gas indicator gets low, pull up to a nice looking
Cadillac on some dark street and syphon off some of his
gas. Just park your car so the gas tank is next to the Caddy's,
or use a large can. Stick the hose into his tank, suck up
enough to get things flowing, and stick the other end into
your tank. Having a lower level of liquid, you tank will
draw gas until you and the Caddy are equal. "To each according
to his need, from each according to his ability," wrote
Marx. Bet you hadn't realized until now that the law of
gravity affects economics.
Another way is to park in a service station over their
filler hole. Lift off one lid (like a small manhole cover),
run down twenty feet of rubber tubing thru the hole you've
cut in your floorboard, then turn on the electric pump which
you have installed to feed into your gas tank. All they
ever see is a parked car. This technique is especially rewarding
when you have a bus.
BUSES
If you'd rather leave the driving and the paying to them,
try swiping a ride on the bus. Here's a method that has worked
well. Get a rough idea of where the bus has stopped before
it arrived at your station. If you are not at the beginning
or final stop on the route, wait until the bus you want pulls
in and then out of the station. Make like the bus just pulled
off without you while you went to the bathroom. If there is
a station master, complain like crazy to him. Tell him you're
going to sue the company if your luggage gets stolen. He'll
put you on the next bus for free. If there is no station master,
lay your sad tale on the next driver that comes along. If
you know when the last bus left, just tell the driver you've
been stranded there for eight hours and you left your kid
sleeping on the other bus. Tell him you called ahead to the
company and they said to grab the next bus and they would
take care of it.
The next method isn't totally free but close enough. It's
called the hopper-bopper. Find a bus that makes a few stops
before it gets to where you want to go. The more stops with
people getting in our out the better. Buy a ticket for the
short hop and stay on the bus until you end up at your destination.
You must develop a whole style in order to pull this off
because the driver has to forget you are connected with
the ticket you gave him. Dress unobtrusively or make sure
the driver hasn't seen your face. Pretend to be asleep when
the short hop station is reached. If you get questioned,
just act upset about sleeping through the stop you "really"
want and ask if it's possible to get a ride back.
AIRLINES
Up and away, junior outlaws! If you really want to get where
you're going in a hurry, don't forget skyjacker's paradise.
Don't forget the airlines. They make an unbelievable amount
of bread on their inflated prices, ruin the land with incredible
amounts of polluting wastes and noise, and deliberately hold
back aviation advances that would reduce prices and time of
flight. We know two foolproof methods to fly free, but unfortunately
we feel publishing them would cause the airlines to change
their policy. The following methods have been talked about
enough, so the time seems right to make them known to a larger
circle of friends.
A word should be said right off about stolen tickets. Literally
millions of dollars worth of airline tickets are stolen
each year. If you have good underworld contacts, you can
get a ticket to anywhere you want at one-fourth the regular
price. If you are charged more, you are getting a slight
rooking. In any case, you can get a ticket for any flight
or date and just trade it in. They are actually as good
as cash, except that it takes 30 days to get a refund, and
by then they might have traced the stolen tickets. If you
can get a stolen ticket, exchange or use it as soon as possible,
and always fly under a phony name. A stolen ticket for a
trip around the world currently goes for one hundred and
fifty dollars in New York.
One successful scheme requires access to the mailbox of
a person listed in the local phone book. Let's use the name
Ron Davis as an example. A woman calls one of the airlines
with a very efficient sounding rap such as: "Hello, this
is Mr. Davis' secretary at Allied Chemical. He and his wife
would like to fly to Chicago on Friday. Could you mail two
first-class tickets to his home and bill us here at Allied?"
Every major corporation probably has a Ron Davis, and the
airlines rarely bother checking anyway. Order your tickets
two days before you wish to travel, and pick them up at
the mailbox or address you had them sent to. If you are
uptight in the airport about the tickets, just go up to
another airline and have the tickets exchanged.
One gutsy way to hitch a free ride is to board the plane
without a ticket. This is how it works. Locate the flight
you want and rummage through a wastebasket until you find
an envelope for that particular airline. Shuffle by the
counter men (which is fairly easy if it's busy). When the
boarding call is made, stand in line and get on the plane.
Flash the empty envelope at the stewardess as you board
the plane. Carry a number of packages as a decoy, so the
stewardess won t ask you to open the envelope. If she does,
which is rare, and sees you have no ticket, act surprised.
"Oh my gosh, it must have fallen out in the wash room,"
will do fine. Run back down the ramp as if you're going
to retrieve the ticket. Disappear and try later on a different
airline. Nine out of ten revolutionaries say it's the only
way to fly. This trick works only on airlines that don't
use the boarding pass system.
If you want to be covered completely, use the hopper-bopper
method described in the section on Buses, with this added
security precaution. Buy two tickets from different cashiers,
or better still, one from an agent in town. Both will be
on the same flight. Only one ticket will be under a phony
name and for the short hop, white the ticket under your
real name will be for your actual destination. At the boarding
counter, present the short hop ticket. You will be given
an envelope with a white receipt in it. Actually, the white
receipt is the last leaf in your ticket. Once you are securely
seated and aloft, take out the ticket with your name and
final destination. Gently peel away everything but the white
receipt. Place the still valid ticket back in your pocket.
Now remove from the envelope and destroy the short hop receipt.
In its place, put the receipt for the ticket you have in
your pocket.
When you land at the short hop airport, stay on the plane.
Usually the stewardesses just ask you if you are remaining
on the flight. If you have to, you can actually show her
your authentic receipt. When you get to your destination,
you merely put the receipt back on the bonafide ticket that
you still have in your pocket. It isn't necessary that they
be glued together. Present the ticket for a refund or exchange
it for another ticket. This method works well even in foreign
countries. You can actually fly around the world for $88.00
using the hopper-bopper method and switching receipts.
If you can't hack these shucks you should at least get
a Youth Card and travel for half fare. If you are over twenty-two
but still in your twenties, you can easily pass. Get a card
from a friend who has similar color hair and eyes. Your
friend can easily get one from another airline. You can
master your friend's signature and get a supporting piece
of identification from him to back up your youth card if
you find it necessary. If you have a friend who works for
an airline or travel agency, just get a card under your
own name and an age below the limit. Your friend can validate
the card. Flying youth fare is on stand-by, so it's always
a good idea to call ahead and book a number of reservations
under fictitious names on the flight you'll be taking. This
will fuck up the booking of regular passengers and insure
you a seat.
By the way, if you fly cross-country a number of times,
swipe one of the plug-in head sets. Always remember to pack
it in your traveling bag. This way you'll save a two dollar
fee charged for the in-flight movie. The headsets are interchangeable
on all airlines.
One way to fly free is to actually hitch a ride. Look for
the private plane area located at every airport, usually
in some remote part of the field. You can find it by noticing
where the small planes without airline markings take off
and land. Go over to the runways and ask around. Often the
mechanics will let you know when someone is leaving for
your destination and point out a pilot. Tell him you lost
your ticket and have to get back to school. Single pilots
often like to have a passenger along and it's a real gas
flying in a small plane.
Some foreign countries have special arrangements for free
air travel to visiting writers, artists or reporters. Brazil
and Argentina are two we know of for sure. Call or write
the embassy of the country you wish to visit in Washington
or their mission to the United Nations in New York. Writing
works best, especially if you can cop some stationery from
a newspaper or publishing house. Tell them you will be writing
a feature story for some magazine on the tourist spots or
handcrafts of the country. The embassy will arrange for
you to travel gratis aboard one of their air force planes.
The planes leave only from Washington and New York at unscheduled
times. Once you have the O.K. letter from the embassy you're
all set. This is definitely worth checking out if you want
to vacation in a foreign country with all sorts of free
bonuses thrown in.
A one-way ride is easy if you want to get into skyjacking.
Keep the piece or knife in your shoe to avoid possible detection
with the "metal scanner," a long black tube that acts like
a geiger counter. Or use a plastic knife or bomb. It's also
advisable to wrap your dope in a non-metallic material.
Avoid tinfoil.
The crews have instructions to take you wherever you want
to go even if they have to refuel, but watch out for air
marshals. To avoid air marshals and searches pick an airline
which flies short domestic hops. You should plan to end
up in a country hostile to the United States or you'll end
up right back where you came from in some sturdy handcuffs.
One dude wanted to travel in style so he demanded $100,000
as a going-away gift. The airlines quickly paid off. The
guy then got greedy and demanded a hundred million dollars.
When he returned to pick up the extra pocket money, he got
nabbed. None the less, skyjacking appears to be the cheapest,
fastest way to get away from it all.
IN CITY TRAVEL
Any of the public means of transportation can be ripped off
easily. Get on the bus with a large bill and present it after
the bus has left the stop. If the bus is crowded, slip in
the back door when it opens to dispatch passengers.
Two people can easily get through the turnstile in a subway
on one token by doubling up. In some subway systems cards
are given out to high school kids or senior citizens or
employees of the city. The next time you are in a subway
station notice people flashing cards to the man in the booth
and entering through the "exit" door. Notice the color of
the card used by people in your age group. Get a piece of
colored paper in a stationery store or find some card of
the same color you need. Put this "card" in a plastic window
of your wallet and flash it in the same way those with a
bona fide pass do.
Before entering a turnstile, always test the swing bar.
If someone during the day put in an extra token, it's still
in the machine waiting for you to enter free.
For every token and coin deposited in an automatic turnstile,
there is a foreign coin the same size for much less that
will work in the machine. (See the Yippie Currency Exchange,
following, for more info.) Buy a cheap bag of assorted foreign
coins from a dealer that you can locate in the Yellow Pages.
Size up the coins with a token from your subway system.
You can get any of these coins in bulk from a large dealer.
Generally they are about l,000 for five dollars. Tell him
you make jewelry out of them if he gets suspicious. Giving
what almost amounts to free subway rides away is a communal
act of love. The best outlaws in the world rip-off shit
for a lot more people than just themselves. Robin Hood lives!
FREE LAND
Despite what you may have heard, there is still some rural
land left in Amerika. The only really free land is available
in Alaska and remote barren areas of the western states. The
latest information in this area is found in a periodic publication
called Our Public Lands, available from the Superintendent
of Documents, Washington, D.C. 20402. It costs $1.00 for a
subscription. Also contact the U.S. Department of the Interior,
Bureau of Land Management, Washington, D.C. 20240 and ask
for information on "homesteading." By the time this book is
out though, the Secretary of the Interior's friends in the
oil companies might have stolen all the available free land.
Being an oil company is about the easiest way to steal millions.
Never call it stealing though, always refer to it as "research
and development."
Continental United States has no good free land that we
know of, but there are some very low prices in areas suited
for country communities. Write to School of Living, Freeland,
Maryland, for their newspaper Green Revolution with the
latest information in this area. Canada has free land available,
and the Canadian government will send you a free list if
you write to the Department of Land and Forests, Parliament
Building, Quebec City, Canada. Also write to the Geographical
Branch, Department of Mines and Technical Surveys, Parliament
Building, Quebec City, Canada. Correspondence can be carried
out with the Communications Group, 2630 Point Grey Road,
Vancouver 8, British Columbia, Canada, for advice on establishing
a community in Canada. The islands off the coast of British
Columbia, its western region and the area along the Kootenai
River are among the best locations.
If you just want to rip off some land, there are two ways
to do it; openly or secretly. If you are going to do it
out front, look around for a piece of land that's in dispute,
which has its sovereignty in question-islands and deltas
between the U.S. and Canada, or between the U.S. and Mexico,
or any number of other borderline lands. You might even
consider one of the abandoned oil-drilling platforms, which
are fair game under high seas salvage laws. The possibilities
are endless.
If you intend to do it quietly, you will want a completely
different type of location. Find a rugged area with lots
of elbow room and plenty of places to hide, like the Rocky
Mountains, Florida swamps, Death Valley, or New York City.
Put together a tight band of guerrillas and do your thing.
With luck you will last forever.
If you just want to camp out or try some hermit living
in the plushest surroundings available, you'll do best to
head for one of the national parks. Since the parks are
federal property, there's very little the local fuzz can
do about you, and the forest rangers are generally the live-and-let-live
types, although there have been increasing reports of long-hairs
being vamped on by Smokey the Pig, as in Yosemite. You can
get a complete list from National Park Service, Department
of the Interior, Washington, D.C. 20240. The following is
a list of some good ones:
- ALABAMA-Russell Cave National Monument, Bridgeport
35740
- ARIZONA-Grand Canyon National Park, Box 129, Grand
Canyon 86023
- ARKANSAS-Hot Springs National Park, Box 1219, Hot Springs
71901
- CALIFORNIA-Yosemite National Park, Box 577, Yosemite
95389*
- COLORADO-Rocky Mountain National Park, Estes Park,
80517
- FLORIDA-Everglades National Park, Box 279, Homestead
33030
- IDAHO-Boise National Forest, 413 Idaho Street, Boise
83702
- ILLINOIS-Shawnee National Forest,Harrisburg National
Bank Building, Harrisburg 62946
- KENTUCKY-Mammoth Cave National Park, Mammoth Cave 42259
- LOUISIANA-Kisatchie National Forest, 2500 Shreveport
Hwy., Pineville 71360
- MAINE-Acadia National Park, Box 338, Bar Harbor 04609
- MARYLAND-Assateague Island National Seashore, Rte.
2 Box 111, Berlin 21811
- MASSACHUSETTS-Cape Cod National Seashore, South Wellfleet
02663
- MICHIGAN-Hiawatha National Forest, Post Office Building,
Escanaba 49829
- MISSOURI-Mark Twain National Forest, 304 Pershing St.,
Springfield 65806
- NEVADA-Lake Mead National Recreation Area, 601 Nevada
Hwy, Boulder City 89005
- NEW MEXICO-Aztec Ruins National Monument, Route 1,
Box 101, Aztec 87410
- NEW YORK-Fire Island National Seashore c/o New York
City National Park Service Group, 28 E. 20th St., New
York, NY 10003
- NORTH CAROLINA-Wright Brothers National Memorial Box
457, Manteo 27954
- OKLAHOMA-Platt National Park, Box 201, Sulphur 73086
- OREGON-Crater Lake National Park, Box 7, Crater Lake
97604
- UTAH-Bryce Canyon National Park, Bryce Canyon 84717
- WYOMING-Yellowstone National Park, Yellowstone Park
83020
*This summer Yosemite forest rangers tried to evict a group
of Yippies from their encampment. The Yippies rioted in the
valley, spooked the tourists, burned cars and fought for their
right to stay.
Earth People's Park is an endeavor to purchase land and
allow people to come and live for free. They function as
a clearing house for people that want to donate land and
those who wish to settle. They own 600 acres in northern
Vermont and are trying to raise money to buy more. Write
to Earth People's Park, P.0. Box 313, 1230 Grant Ave., San
Francisco, California 94133.
People's Parks are sprouting up all over as people reclaim
the land being ripped off by universities, factories, and
corrupt city planning agencies. The model is the People's
Park struggle in Berkeley during the spring of 1969. The
people fought to defend a barren parking lot they had turned
into a community center with grass, swings, free-form sculpture
and gardens. The University of California, with the aid
of Ronald Reagan and the Berkeley storm troopers, fought
with guns, clubs and tear gas to regain the land from the
outlaw people. The pigs killed James Rector and won an empty
victory. For now the park is fenced off, tarred over and
converted into unused basketball courts and unused parking
lots. Not one person has violated the oath never to set
foot on the site. It stands, cold and empty, two blocks
north of crowded Telegraph Avenue. If the revolution does
not survive, all the land will perish under the steam roller
of imperialism. People's Death Valley will happen in our
lifetime.
FREE HOUSING
If you are in a city without a place to stay, ask the first
group of hip-looking folks where you can crash. You might
try the office of the local underground newspaper. In any
hip community, the underground newspaper is generally the
source of the best up-to-the-moment information. But remember
that they are very busy, and don't impose on them. Many churches
now have runaway houses. If you are under sixteen and can
hack some bullshit jive about "adjusting," "opening a dialogue,"
and "things aren't that bad," then these are the best deals
for free room and board. Check out the ground rules first,
i.e., length of stay allowed, if they inform your parents
or police, facilities and services available. Almost always
they can be accepted at their word, which is something very
sacred to missionaries. If they became known as double-crossers,
the programs would be finished.
Some hip communities have crash pads set up, but these
rarely last more than a few months. To give out the addresses
we have would be quite impractical. We have never run across
a crash pad that lasted more than a month or so. If in a
cit, try hustling a room at a college dorm. This is especially
good in summer or on week-ends. If you have a sleeping bag,
the parks are always good, as is "tar jungle" or sleeping
on the roofs of tall buildings. Local folks will give you
some good advice on what to watc
